It's Friday and I feel like I can breathe. I'm not sure why I feel that way. It's been a nice week - nothing too stressful. But for whatever reason, I can take in slow breaths and relax.
Tonight I went to the "Look good feel better" class. It is offered by the American Cancer Society. You are invited to go after being diagnosed with cancer. I went right before I started my chemo and it was my wake up call that shouted..............YOU have cancer and you are in for a ride of your life.!!!!!!!!!!! What a reality check for me.
I remember sitting down in the conference room and watching women remove their scarves and wigs and thinking to myself: this is real and I don't want to do this. I don't want to look like this.
Tonight as I sat there the wave of emotions flooded my mind again as I watched and visited other women that were bald and listened to their stories. I felt for them and yet at the same time I was so grateful it was not me starting out. I am so glad that I am on the tail end of this incredible year. I say incredible because, well, it just was.
I was able to visit with a friend, Andrea, that I had met in the beginning. We compared our hair (she is about 3 months ahead of me). We talked about many things: how vain we felt when we just wanted our hair back , worries about how are husbands and children have taken the last year, what different women we are now, to all the firsts that we have had to do. Like going out in public for the first time with a scarf, going out with no scarf and just the stubble of hair on our heads, the first time wearing a wig, first time after surgery and looking down and not seeing any breasts. Wow!
I love being around other women that have had cancer. I feel safe, normal (everyone has about the same haircut or will have the same) and accepted. When I was diagnosed I really didn't want to have anything to do with anyone that had cancer or talk about it. But now it brings me much comfort.
Thank you for the nice compliments. It's very much appreciated.
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Wow! I know you never asked for Cancer to accompany you on your life journey this year. I probably will never know/understand how hard is was, but I do know how much more amazing you are because of it. You have ALWAYS been my big sister that just handles everything that comes her way.
ReplyDeleteThe wonderful things about this trial is has brought you closer to our Savior, stronger in your testimony of the gospel plan, more patient, more humble, more compassionate. These are beautiful, wonderful blessings.
It's wonderful that you have allowed this process to take place in you. The opposite could have happened, but you chose the strait and narrow path, the one that leads back to our Heavenly Father. I'm so glad you are such a wonderful example to me, and that I get to call you my sister.