Last week I took my two boys to my family physician. They both had needed to see the Dr. He was the one who told me I had cancer. It was the 1st time I had seen him and his nurses since my appointment with him over a year ago. When I saw my Dr. a wave a emotion came over me. (Maybe its that attachment issue I have). I told my Dr. thanks for how kind he was. He had received my results when he was on his way home from work. He ended up calling me around 8:00pm while he was at his daughters b-day party. He apologized for calling so late but didn't want me to have to wait another night.
He then told me I had cancer. I still remember where I was sitting. I was in my girls room sitting on their big lime green chair. He asked me if I had someone with me. I told him no ,but that I was fine. He then proceeded to tell me my 1st step will be to see a surgeon. He asked if I knew any and had a preference, I didn't. He said he would call and try to get me in to the one that if his wife had cancer that's where he would go. I then started my journey. To hear the words 'YOU HAVE CANCER" was probably one of the hardest or most difficult parts of this past year. I didn't cry while talking to my Dr. I was home alone when he had called. When my husband and children came home I didn't cry, I didn't even cry when I told my husband. We didn't tell my kids for a couple of days. My first cry was when I tucked my children into bed that night, I helped them say their prayers, gave them a kiss and the tears started. What if I won't be the one to help them with their prayers and give them a kiss each night. I then got into bed and looked at my husband and cried and then through out the night I would keep going in and looking at my children wondering what are future would be. The tears couldn't stop. I was so scared for the unknown of what could happen. My worst fear I could die and leave my children. For me that night has left a impression on my mind that I will never forget. Three days later I went in for my 1st surgery and the rest is history, right?
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You have been an astounding inspiration of faith and courage to all of those around you. Thank you for sharing with us. We wish you and your family the very best in the days to come.
ReplyDeleteOh Shaq. I am so touched and thankful to our heavenly father for all that he has done to protect you from your greatest fears now that you have come thus far its a dream. All behind you
ReplyDeletethank you heavenly father for all you do...mar
Thank you for that post! Just reading it made me want to hug my kids, you never know what tomorrow might bring. I am so glad that you are cancer free and doing so well :)
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