Whats Everyone Been Doing?

Savannah & Mom

Savannah

Jimmy at State


Jimmy taking 1st at Zone

Anyone out there? After almost two months I'm sure I have lost most of you readers.

I haven't written because I decided at the 1st of the year I would end my blog. So I wanted to do one last entry with a well written bang! Well I haven't been able to make myself sit down and write something; well something I feel that would convey my feelings so I have procrastinated. I can't remember if I made New Year resolutions. But if I did ,that would be one of them NO PROCRASTINATING!

The last two months have been good. I am feeling better. Some days I feel great and the next I am exhausted. Basically I think this will be my life the next year but that's fine. My bones hurt less and less. I still tire easily, I think its some of the meds I have to take. I definitely don't have as many Dr. Appointments, I hope that saves on the money. So health wise I feel good as well as the family. A lot of people have been getting sick but knock on wood my kids haven't. I think the flu shot has helped them.

For the latest BIG news-

1. My little Savannah turned 8 and got baptized. She was so excited and looked so cute. We had family and friends come celebrate this occasion with her, that made the day even better. I am so proud of her for making the decision to get baptized.

2. My parents got their mission call to the West Indies. They are excited and well, full of many emotions. They leave April 11Th. I am happy and excited for them. They are great examples to the family. Although I am happy for them I am sad for me. I am going to terribly miss them. I talk to my mom a couple of times a week and when ever I need a change of scenery I take my kids and head to Grandmas house. Now where will we go? Any offers?

3rd. My son Jimmy took 1st in Zone (wrestling)and took 4Th at State. We are so proud of him. He has only wrestled the last two years. Not bad for basically just starting out. State was in Reno, so we drove up with the kids except Asia and Savannah. We knew it would be hard on them, with the drive up and back and then sitting in a gym for 2 days straight. Oh did I say it would be hard on them I meant it would be hard on me. Haha

Well this is the update on me and the family. We are still here. Going to school, doing homework, doing laundry, making dinners, cleaning, trying to fulfill our Church callings the way we should and just being together as a family. You all know, the usual.

I will really try to sit down and finish my last post this week, or maybe the next!

No Regrets,

New Year's: Look Not behind Thee

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! How has the first week gone for everyone's New Years Resolutions? Did you even make any or think about it? How has your success been so far?


For me, I did ok, but by Friday I realized I need to change a few of them. I don't want to change the goals I have chosen, but just how I thought I would acheive them. I posted the New Years video because I really liked the message. This past year has been very hard, it has been very spiritually uplifting, life changing and something I don't want to forget (at least the lessons I have learned). There have been moments when I am so happy it is over, and then the anxiety creeps in about what may happen. Will I ever have cancer again? What trouble may beset me in the coming years? I have come to the conclusion that: 1). I am going to learn from the past. Try hard to put into practice those things that have anchored me. 2). Pray I will be prepared for the future. Stay close to the Spirit and let it guide me. 3). Just live life to the fullest right now. Enjoy what I can accomplish, and relish the time I have with my sweet children in a much more healthy body.



So with that said I am excited in what lies ahead for the future. I am ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh I sound so excited and brave, but none of us really know what lies ahead? So let's just know whatever it brings, we will be able to do it!

Merry Christmas !

Wow! I guess it's been awhile since I have written. This month has been a busy one. I tried posting once but couldn't seem to express my feelings on paper(computer).
Up until last weekend I have been in pain, it has been on my left side from my eye down to my shoulder, armpit and then back. I have been going to Dr's all month trying to figure out where its coming from. I know it has something to do with my lymphatic system. Anyway for whatever reason I have felt better this week. My kids think it has something to do with them being on school break. They may be right!
This Christmas I didn't start shopping until this week and its been kind of nice. Instead of shopping I have enjoyed looking at the Christmas lights and reading Christmas stories to my children. We have TrIeD to do many activities that were centered around Christ. I have thought a lot about Mary and Joesph. We would not be celebrating Christmas without the birth of Jesus and what he means to us and yet I think of Mary how pure she must had been to be chosen to be his mother. I am in awe of her, what a righteous women she must have been. Studying her and Joesph make me want to strive harder to be a good mom and worthy of my children. I feel like last year at this time I was tired, sick and stressed. I can't help but think about where and what me and my family were doing last year at this time. I had gone through 3 surgeries and had started Chemo. As I write this I can't seem to contain my emotions. On Christmas day last year my husband shaved my head. I remember just staring at myself bald and my little kids faces, their faces will be embedded in me forever. As my family had gone to bed I went in the bathroom took off my beanie and didn't recognize the person before me. What a year. Anyway, as I was saying I feel like last year I was preoccupied and didn't help my children focus on what the true meaning of Christmas is all about. So we have enjoyed celebrating this season.
Every year I tell myself that I am going to do a Christmas letter, and now its almost over and I haven't done one. I just want to tell my family and friends I appreciate them sending me one. I love it and so just maybe I will get one out next year.
I want to tell all of you Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy being with family and friends and will be able to feel our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christs love for you.

Merry Christmas!

Procrastination Is My Middle Name

I really hate to admit this, but I think I may be a procrastinator. Ouch! that actually hurts to say or write out loud. I have wanted to write and have had different things I wanted to write to remember forever but now they are long forgotten. My memory is very short lived lately.



I do remember how much fun I had Celebrating Thanksgiving. I am so grateful to be surrounded by family and be able to sit down and eat good food that was prepared with love and if I helped a little stress.



The cousins played around the clock and of course they all want to stay at Grandmas. Poor worn out Grandma and Aunt Tiesha. She is my sister that lives in Gilbert Arizona so when she comes she tends to have alot of my children. But she did get a break one day? All the girls went shopping on Friday, then went to Breakfast, went to the Santa workshop and then more shopping. We ran into so many friends and family while shopping and I ran into several of nurses that have worked with me over the last year. It was fun to see and visit them somewhere other then at the hospital or dr's office.



On Saturday we went to a movie with all the kids and then the Adults went out to Dinner. I love visiting with my siblings and their spouses. Much better then when my brothers chased me around and through the house when I was little. I would end up running to my moms bedroom locking the door then going in her bathroom locking that door and hiding in a cupboard. Don't worry they didn't beat me but it was the fear. And I am the oldest. Ha ha



My family ended our 12 days of Gratitude and they all loved it. I decided I am going to share one of my sons letter we received from him regarding gratitude. http://www.missionsite.net/eldercannon
If you go to Cody's link just hit on latest letter and the letter will pop up.

I don't mention him alot because he is on a mission in Paraguay for 2 years. He will be returning this August and we get to talk to him on Christmas. He is loving it and has grown so much.(Spiritually,mentally, and physically). We love and miss him but so grateful for his example.

As the Christmas season begins I hope you all can enjoy and feel our Saviors love for us. I started listening to Christmas music on Thanksgiving and I'm TRYING to do things with my children that will make our Christmas focused on Christ and not as much on Santa. I love this time of year and as I think of last year at this time, I am so glad(understatement)that its a new year.

What Are You Grateful For?

I just got back from the Breast Cancer Symposium. There was a Doc. Panel with 2 of my favorite Dr's. I have to say when they walked into the room I cried. Not quite sure why, maybe because I feel like they are good, smart, kind Dr's that helped me through the toughest time in my life.


After they spoke they had a lady speak that has survived cancer 3 times and she talked about the importance of attitude. She was good.


After the speakers we preceded into the Dixie Center and did the pink glove dance. It was fun and I felt free.


Then we had a luncheon and Fashion Show. It was a nice day and it is always fun to see other lady's and connect with them.

I thought maybe I would go Christmas shopping after but I was tired, well actually exhausted and I just came home and laid on my bed. Since I chose to lay in bed I should be making dinner instead of writing, so this will be short and sweet. What should I make? What are you making for dinner?

My kids have been having fun with coming up with what they are grateful for. I thought I would list a few.

Asia-As she giggles she says Jesus

-My family

Savannah-That I have a mom that tucks me into bed each night.

-That I am beautiful(I'm glad she thinks that, but we did laugh).

Rudy-For Dr's that help us get better, like fixing my knee so I could walk.

-For my Teacher Mr. Adams

Kylie-For my mom & Dad that gives us a home and a warm bed to climb into at night.

-For a bathroom that has a toilet that flushes, she then reminds us that Grandma had a outhouse when she grew up.

Jimmy-For my girlfriend

-For School(Surprise)

These are a few of the things they have said, we have had alot of fun. They have all mentioned how hard it is to just choose one each night. They have said that they do realize they are very lucky and very blessed. I think they are wise realizing so young.

What Else But Gratitude!

Our family started are yearly tradition yesterday. It is the 12 days until Thanksgiving. Every year I think I will do it all month but I am not that organized.
We start the 12 day count down by listing something we are grateful for each night. Then on different nights we will have stories on gratitude or we will write letters or notes to whomever my children want to tell that they are grateful for. We will do random service projects for someone and of course bake cookies for someone. My kids get excited and it makes them think and realize that they have a wonderful life and our lucky. Each night is alittle different. I also get excited, but since I'm not as organized as I would like to be or try to be, it can stress me alittle by the end. I hate to admit that!
I have been debating on if I should share this story but hopefully it won't come back to bite me. We started out sharing one thing we are grateful for and when it was Rudy's turn
he said in all seriousness "I am grateful for my privates".
I said " What did you say?"
Rudy "My privates"
I said "Why would you say that?'
Rudy"Heavenly Father is smart, I had the worst stomach ache and after going the bathroom I thought to myself, that would be so gross if that just stayed in my body, and my stomach would be so full and look fat if all the water I drank never came out of me.
I said "yes that is true with a sigh of relief"
Rudy "I am glad that we have privates and they work so good"
I said "Me to"
That was not the answer I was prepared for. I was waiting for some answer like he was glad to have friends or glad for his dad, not privates. Ha ha
I had Dr. Appointments last week that were rescheduled for this week. I was sick last week so I am glad I didn't have to go. But it will be a busy week and I hope they can figure out why I keep getting pain in my eye, cheek and top of my head. When it hurts and I get frustrated I remind myself how grateful I am that it is not cancer.

Here is a gratitude Quote for this post-

"If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get". Frank A. Clark

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." John F. Kennedy

Feeling Safe and Secure

It's Friday night, my husband Jim and my son Rudy left early this morning to go Elk hunting. Is it wrong to say Whew! It's just me and my 3 little girls home. They are content to have Turkey sandwiches and for whatever reason I feel like I can just relax. I don't even clean the house.
Tonight me and my girls turned up the music, grabbed our microphones and then sang and danced throughout the house. We had so much fun! We giggled and laughed until we were exhausted. As I write they have put their PJ's on and climbed in my bed. Of course they are sleeping with me. Their dad is gone and they know that means we all pile in together. I love it! Even if I get kicked or a flailing arm hits my face I still love it.
But I am a parent that whenever my kids come in my room and want to sleep with me I let them, whether it be because they are scared or cold. When they climb in and curl up to you and they feel warm and safe. They seem to fall asleep so fast. Oh how I love that.
It brings memories of my own childhood. I remember doing the same thing to my parents. I still can feel the warmth of my parents bed and security I felt when climbing into their old water bed. How lucky I am to have such great parents. Here I am 25 OK maybe 30, 35? Oh OK I just can't seem to say my real age.(Its because I danced and sang like a teenager tonight). I still love to climb into my parents bed and visit with my mom and dad. I know I had many conversations with my parents snuggling by them that shaped me to be the person I am today. It's the stillness of the night when you are laying there and can talk about anything. Did I say how much I love my parents!

My sweet moments of the week

I caught Asia singing while standing on the bar stool in front of the fridge. While looking in the fridge she was singing"I love Jesus and I KNOW he loves me" repeating it several times. She was so happy.

Rudy getting ready to go hunting and tells me "I am going to miss you tucking me into bed." Then he whispers don't tell dad or Jimmy I just said that.

Kylie grabbing my hand to hold and saying"I'm so glad you taught my class today" while we were walking with the class to the lunchroom.

I was volunteering for the book fair at my children's school and while I was there the nurse came in and told me that Savannah had fallen on her back on the monkey bars. She was OK but wanted to see me. The nurse sent her down to me and as soon as she saw me she started crying and ran to me. She told me how bad it hurt and how scared she was. After she cried for a minute she felt better and went to class. Now I know I just didn't change the world but to me that moment felt so important and I was so glad that I could just hold her for a minute and be there for her.

The Unexpected!

The last 72 hrs have been a whirlwind. I went to my appointments and the first one was fine but the 2nd, Dr. H ended up ordering a MRI for me. The day was stressful. My eye on the left side and part of the top of my head has hurt for about 5-6 weeks. I have tried to link it to something perhaps maybe a sinus infection, head cold? But the pain has gotten more intense as the weeks have gone by. After doing a few tests my Dr. said it was time to do a MRI. He tells me in the nicest way possible that he was worried it was the big C word. He then scheduled the test for the same day and said he didn't want to wait another day. I went over to radiology and was told that it would take about 25 minutes. 3 hrs later I was done. The MRI machine would stop working while I was in the small little tube. I didn't realize how claustrobic I was. It's one thing to go in the tube for 15 minutes but to stay in there for a long period of time was pushing it.

After the MRI I went over to Red Mountain Resort & Spa. For Breast Awareness Month the Spa invited Survivors to a Celebration Of Survival. They had light refreshments and mini stations to have head back massages, hand massages, life coach to talk to, a lady that reads cards. I had so much fun! It felt so good talking to others going through the same thing, I feel so validated when talking to others. I really am not a wimp and making things up, everyone else has the same aches, pains and also worries. That night helped me relax alittle.

The next morning I went to the Pumpkin Run. I love watching my kids. They are all so unique and have a different perspective on competion and just the race itself. While watching them I couldn't help but keep checking my phone waiting for the Dr. to call with the results.
At 11:30 am my Dr. called and said well the good news is---------You don't have Cancer and no signs of a mini stroke. He thought I would have one those two things. The poor Dr. I couldn't keep my emotions in check. I felt like I could breathe along with feeling exhausted. He said the bad news is----------I don't know what is wrong but something definitely is. I told him I was fine with that as long as I don't have cancer I can live to find out. So I will start going to see more Dr.'s and having tests. Whew! It's not cancer.
My thoughts turn to the loved ones I know that are still struggling and have struggled with cancer for far too long and know that in heaven they were much stronger then me. I love You!

Mothers Making the World A Better Place

I just pulled up my blog and noticed I haven't written in quite awhile. So what should I say? I'm sure I have done something in the last few weeks. Of course, I now remember. I have washed at least 3-4 loads of laundry a day. Folded clothes, put some away and some stayed in the basket. I have washed dishes, made countless meals(some good and some not so good). I have vacuumed, dusted, cleaned bathrooms. I have gone visiting teaching. I have substituted here and there. I have spent countless hours helping children do homework, tried to have fun but spiritual family home evenings with out someone leaving the room crying or fighting. I have held scripture study with my kids feeling so productive until I quiz them hours later and they say"I can't remember us reading that?" I have stayed up late waiting for my son to come home for the night to waking up early with my youngest daughter Asia, thinking to myself did I get any sleep?
So as I write this I have to laugh because I realize that I have been busy and although I am not traveling the world, I am changing the world and making it a better place by staying at home raising my children. How lucky am I to be a mother!
Last weekend was homecoming and the football team played great and won! The beginning of the game I noticed all the football players had pink tape wrapped around their cleats. I was glad that someone made them aware of Breast Cancer. As the game started I had a couple of mothers come up to me and say the team was wearing that for me. My own son plays on the team and he hadn't said a word. Well they honored the seniors and their parents that night down on the field before the game. As I stood by my son he whispered to me "look at all the guys cleats, we are wearing that color for you tonight" Tears came to my eyes, how thoughtful. I still don't know who came up with the idea coaches, kids, their parents? Whoever,I appreciate it! and I know other Breast cancer survivors appreciate it too. Love you!

Tomorrow I have 2 Dr. Appointments. I will let you all know how they go.
I also will be posting pictures of the events I have been involved in this month.

The Journey of a Year

These pictures show how I look on the outside, but they also reflect how I was feeling on the inside. I am surprised at how much I miss my red hair. I look at the picture with the red hair and I realize how much I have grown in the last year. I am still the same person but stronger, better relationship with my Heavenly Father and have a better understanding of who I am becoming.

No Regrets!

Shaquel

July 28, 2009

The look I miss!!!

March 16, 2010

OUCH!!!

June 13, 2010

The Beginning!

October 12, 2010

ME Today!!!

Breathe

Yahoo its Friday! Do any of you feel a sigh of relief when its Friday? Whether it be you don't have work the next day or for me its because my kids don't have homework due the next day. Now I am a parent that thinks kids don't get all the education or help they need at school; so I know that homework and reading are important for them to do. Oh, before I forget I better say teachers are great well most, I really do believe they are Saints but there are too many kids at different levels and the teacher basically needs help from the parents to make sure kids excel. Now that I have said that I still say I REALLY DISLIKE HOMEWORK! It's kind of like the same problem the teachers have with so many students . I also have many kids at home and they too are all on different learning levels. By the time you help each one it seems that one kid is crying saying I just don't understand math or how much longer do I have to read? Do I really have to practice the piano or oh I forgot I have a report due tomorrow and its 9pm(my high schooler)can you help me? What do you do ? Help him although you are so tired and want to go to bed or say well that's a bummer for you, have fun working on it and hope he learns his lesson and won't do it again. I am the mom that says oh great I'll help ,if you promise you won't wait until last minute next time. So as I was saying Fridays are heaven to me.

Then for some reason Saturday morning arrives they quickly do their chores and then off to play with friends. My kids could live outside. They have played at the water park, made a lunch and sat in the shade at the church. They climbed trees, rode their bikes, made ramps for jumping bikes and played in the ditch that is empty but full of mud. They are so happy and they seem so sweet with no worries. I almost forget how grouchy they can be when Monday rolls around and we are doing homework.

Jinxed!

I feel jinxed! After several hours of getting a different computer hooked up to my printer and getting it to actually work; I now can't get my printer to work. I feel like screaming, especially when I hear the mans voice over and over that says "put paper in auto feeder"! It is in the paper auto feeder! But it doesn't work.
I have been trying to learn more about computers, but I finally think that I am jinxed when it comes to any kind of computer. They are so frustrating.
I was thinking I would put new pictures up, but not today. I have know more patience.
So I thought to calm myself down I would think about why this week was so wonderful.

Top 10 Reasons this week has been wonderful !

1- My house is clean, I worked really hard and I mean hard!

2-My friends little boy Anson and my Asia were playing while we were trying to fix my computer. We go see what they are doing and they had gotten into the fingernail polish. Yes, I threw 19 empty bottles away. They emptied them in my bedroom. But the great news is we got the nail polish out of the carpet it only took us oh, lets just say several hours of trying everything to get it out. Yes its a nice week!

3-We had a great family Home Evening!

4-I haven't been as tired as last week!

5-My kids still love to go to school and that does include Rudy.

6-My kids ate their dinner each night without complaining.

7-I forgot to pay my phone bill so I had no phone for two days. It was quiet! ( I seriously thought I had paid it).

8-I spoke to a friend that I haven't talked to for forever.

9-I feel healthy

10-I have had all week to look forward to listening to Conference. I love General Conference. I love that spiritual boost you receive.

Hope you all had a great week l have the same for the weekend!

One Year Ago Today!

Last week I took my two boys to my family physician. They both had needed to see the Dr. He was the one who told me I had cancer. It was the 1st time I had seen him and his nurses since my appointment with him over a year ago. When I saw my Dr. a wave a emotion came over me. (Maybe its that attachment issue I have). I told my Dr. thanks for how kind he was. He had received my results when he was on his way home from work. He ended up calling me around 8:00pm while he was at his daughters b-day party. He apologized for calling so late but didn't want me to have to wait another night.
He then told me I had cancer. I still remember where I was sitting. I was in my girls room sitting on their big lime green chair. He asked me if I had someone with me. I told him no ,but that I was fine. He then proceeded to tell me my 1st step will be to see a surgeon. He asked if I knew any and had a preference, I didn't. He said he would call and try to get me in to the one that if his wife had cancer that's where he would go. I then started my journey. To hear the words 'YOU HAVE CANCER" was probably one of the hardest or most difficult parts of this past year. I didn't cry while talking to my Dr. I was home alone when he had called. When my husband and children came home I didn't cry, I didn't even cry when I told my husband. We didn't tell my kids for a couple of days. My first cry was when I tucked my children into bed that night, I helped them say their prayers, gave them a kiss and the tears started. What if I won't be the one to help them with their prayers and give them a kiss each night. I then got into bed and looked at my husband and cried and then through out the night I would keep going in and looking at my children wondering what are future would be. The tears couldn't stop. I was so scared for the unknown of what could happen. My worst fear I could die and leave my children. For me that night has left a impression on my mind that I will never forget. Three days later I went in for my 1st surgery and the rest is history, right?

What Goes Through Your Mind ?

I have to say I feel like it has been along time since I have actually sat down and wrote.

After the labor day weekend I started out the week with a bang! I was sick the whole week. I ended up going in and having labs done. I had just a few different kinds of infections in my body. But with the help of the miracle antibiotics I started feeling better within 24 hrs. So I felt good over the weekend. But by Tuesday I felt sick again. I'm thinking what the heck! My Dr. informed me I still may get sick easily although I am CANCER FREE! (I love saying that). Anyway by today I have started feeling better. So here I am trying to think of something to write.



I have been thinking about some of the thoughts I have had this week and I have to say I love people. Maybe that's why I get so attached to so many different people and I will be their forever loyal friend. I love to meet new people, I love funny people, I love my friends from childhood to college, work settings and now the people I associate with. There is nothing better then being with people that make you feel comfortable and can make you laugh. When you haven't spoke to a friend for years and then when you do its like you feel like you were just with them yesterday. I have just been thinking lately how blessed I have been in my life, all the people that come in and out of my life. Do you ever wonder where, what, or how some of the people you have associated with in your life are doing? I do, I still wonder about a girl from high school that I worked with. We both were baggers at the local grocery store. We came from two totally different backgrounds. I always think of the kids I have worked with the past 20 years. Did they get their lives straightened out? Are they happy? In jail? Married? I even think of past boyfriends wondering if their doing alright and living the life they wanted. I think of old roommates that I lived with for just a short time or past co-workers. I wonder throughout are lifetime how many people we have met and associated with. Did we have any affect on them as they had on us? In all actuality its kind of mind boggling to think about. If we had a movie screen that showed all the people we knew. I know I would see people that I can't even remember now. When thinking about all the people I have known I sure hope they are as happy as I am...and that I haven't offended them. If I have offended any of you sorry.

(I know, scary what goes through my mind some days, but I really think its amazing all the people we meet through out are lives)



Here are a few conversations that happened with my children that made me smile this week.



The other night I was talking on my cell phone and my husband was putting the kids in bed. My Savannah has a tendency to keep getting out and coming up with every excuse to prolong her bedtime. While talking on the phone I receive another call. I look at the number and its my house phone. I answer it and its Savannah whispering. She says" Mom I am in bed but dad won't let me get out will you please get me a drink and a snack and oh don't tell dad I called you... ohh and that I have the phone. I look in her room and she is hiding under her covers while talking. I am still laughing.



The other day I was trying to convince Asia to let me comb her hair and let me do something with it. It's really long. As I was trying to tell her to sit down, she looks at me and says mom I don't need my hair combed, I am already boootiful. She then flips her hair and giggles. I think I am in trouble.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

P.S. My hair is getting longer, yeah! I will try to post a picture next week.

LABOR DAY WEEKEND

My family went to Northern Nevada to visit my husbands family.

Every year they have a parade over Labor Day. My Father-in-law who is the most creative genius I know, made this train for his grand kids to ride in. He took a old 4-wheeler of ours and took the plastic off and then made the train engine. I can't remember what the theme was but he made the train look like a mining train. They covered the candy in gold tin foil to look like gold and the kids got to throw them out to people. They had a blast!

I even think they won 1st prize for their entry in the parade. From the pictures you can tell that they got mining hard hats and the light on the front. Janice put makeup on the kids to look dirty and I have to say they looked so cute.
Thanks Grandpa & Grandma Cannon!

School Is Back In Session

Don't you just hate it when you think of things you need to do but you are somewhere where you can't? That's how I have been this week about posting my blog. My computer has been broke and I thought of all these things I was going to write and now my mind is blank.



I do remember that yesterday I went to see Dr. H.. My favorite Dr. All looks well! Tests came back OK so no worries. After struggling last week it felt good to visit with my Dr. and listen to him remind me that I am not going crazy and I'm not a hypochondriac. He said "your not out of shape and exhausted because you haven't been exercising its because you just received chemo, (poison) in your body it has nothing to do with exercise". He then added"to top it off you also have no estrogen in your body and never will" Reminder to all of you out there that are in the same boat as me we are not hypocondriacs. Anyway I walked away from my visit feeling recharged. Thanks Dr. H..



School started this past Monday. My kids were so excited and looked so cute! They love their teachers and seem motivated to work hard. But I am a realistic parent and know that in a few days they won't be as excited. I wish the excitement would last all year especially with the homework. Their Grandma and Grandpa Andrus had a back to school party for all the grand kids. They went swimming in their pool and had a barbecue. Then Grandma gave each of them back to school presents that they can use. They were so excited and had everything set out Sunday night. They were prepared!



I now get to stay at home with my Asia. She had preschool this morning and then we came home had lunch, read countless books until she fell asleep and here I am. I do have to admit I don't think I will post a long entry because I am going to go join her and not feel one bit guilty for as you know life is so good. I have been able to get up each morning BEFORE my children, feed them a good breakfast and have their lunches made and ready to go. We are able to have family prayer and I can give them a kiss FROM the front door instead of from my bed. So different then last year. I think I may appreciate this year much more then my children. I will forever need to thank my Aunt Darlene who came over each morning and filled in for me. Due to her I don't think my kids missed a beat. Love You!

Believe!

Today is the beginning of a new week. As I came home this morning from walking and kneeled down on my knees I was reminded how grateful I am to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints ( Mormon). I am so glad that I believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the Atonement and how it helps me in my life each day.



Last night was a longggg night I only slept maybe a hour. My body hurt from head to toe. It always seems to be my bones. I lay in bed tossing and turning(you all have had those nights) wanting to sleep. Every time I turned to lay another way my bones in my shoulder, neck,ribs, feet, legs and head hurt. As soon as it was light I forced myself out of bed to go walking. It feels good to be walking and look up and see the clear blue sky and feel the sun shining on me, but today as I tried to enjoy my surroundings I had to try to keep my emotions in check because my body hurt so bad. Eventually discouragement started settling in. Other walkers were passing me and I felt so alone and of course out of shape. I think the reason why I felt lonely was that I knew they (others) couldn't understand why I couldn't keep up with them or why it hurt so bad to walk.

I also have been very apprehensive (I'm not sure if that's the right word) this week. It is my year mark to when I knew something was wrong and I had to go in for two different biopsy's. I knew in my heart I had cancer and I was not letting other people know except my family and a close friend. I remember acting like all was alright as I was preparing my kids for school and sending my son off on a mission. Inside I was a wreck. I am surprised at how I am feeling now, I want Aug/Sept to be over. No surprises.

I went to Walmart today and ran into a lady that had Breast cancer too. I think Heavenly Father new I needed to see her. We were basically diagnosed at the same time. While she was talking I felt relief, although she was crying and I was trying not to. I felt the stress melt away. She feels the same way I do with so many things. I felt normal again.

I then took Savannah to the dentist Dr. P. and he told me that their 2yr was just diagnosed with Leukemia and his wife is due in 2 weeks with their 3rd child. He said it has been hard because his son is still too young to really communicate and tell them how he feels and where it hurts. Tears came to my eyes and I thought back to this morning and all I could think about was the Atonement and how important it is.

As I go to bed tonight I realize that I am truly never alone. I hope all of you feel the same way.

No Regrets,

Kennedy Center Bans Prayer at Beck Event - Meridian Magazine

Kennedy Center Bans Prayer at Beck Event - Meridian Magazine

"America the Beautiful" live at Jefferson Memorial with the Mormon Taber...