One Year Ago Today!

Last week I took my two boys to my family physician. They both had needed to see the Dr. He was the one who told me I had cancer. It was the 1st time I had seen him and his nurses since my appointment with him over a year ago. When I saw my Dr. a wave a emotion came over me. (Maybe its that attachment issue I have). I told my Dr. thanks for how kind he was. He had received my results when he was on his way home from work. He ended up calling me around 8:00pm while he was at his daughters b-day party. He apologized for calling so late but didn't want me to have to wait another night.
He then told me I had cancer. I still remember where I was sitting. I was in my girls room sitting on their big lime green chair. He asked me if I had someone with me. I told him no ,but that I was fine. He then proceeded to tell me my 1st step will be to see a surgeon. He asked if I knew any and had a preference, I didn't. He said he would call and try to get me in to the one that if his wife had cancer that's where he would go. I then started my journey. To hear the words 'YOU HAVE CANCER" was probably one of the hardest or most difficult parts of this past year. I didn't cry while talking to my Dr. I was home alone when he had called. When my husband and children came home I didn't cry, I didn't even cry when I told my husband. We didn't tell my kids for a couple of days. My first cry was when I tucked my children into bed that night, I helped them say their prayers, gave them a kiss and the tears started. What if I won't be the one to help them with their prayers and give them a kiss each night. I then got into bed and looked at my husband and cried and then through out the night I would keep going in and looking at my children wondering what are future would be. The tears couldn't stop. I was so scared for the unknown of what could happen. My worst fear I could die and leave my children. For me that night has left a impression on my mind that I will never forget. Three days later I went in for my 1st surgery and the rest is history, right?

What Goes Through Your Mind ?

I have to say I feel like it has been along time since I have actually sat down and wrote.

After the labor day weekend I started out the week with a bang! I was sick the whole week. I ended up going in and having labs done. I had just a few different kinds of infections in my body. But with the help of the miracle antibiotics I started feeling better within 24 hrs. So I felt good over the weekend. But by Tuesday I felt sick again. I'm thinking what the heck! My Dr. informed me I still may get sick easily although I am CANCER FREE! (I love saying that). Anyway by today I have started feeling better. So here I am trying to think of something to write.



I have been thinking about some of the thoughts I have had this week and I have to say I love people. Maybe that's why I get so attached to so many different people and I will be their forever loyal friend. I love to meet new people, I love funny people, I love my friends from childhood to college, work settings and now the people I associate with. There is nothing better then being with people that make you feel comfortable and can make you laugh. When you haven't spoke to a friend for years and then when you do its like you feel like you were just with them yesterday. I have just been thinking lately how blessed I have been in my life, all the people that come in and out of my life. Do you ever wonder where, what, or how some of the people you have associated with in your life are doing? I do, I still wonder about a girl from high school that I worked with. We both were baggers at the local grocery store. We came from two totally different backgrounds. I always think of the kids I have worked with the past 20 years. Did they get their lives straightened out? Are they happy? In jail? Married? I even think of past boyfriends wondering if their doing alright and living the life they wanted. I think of old roommates that I lived with for just a short time or past co-workers. I wonder throughout are lifetime how many people we have met and associated with. Did we have any affect on them as they had on us? In all actuality its kind of mind boggling to think about. If we had a movie screen that showed all the people we knew. I know I would see people that I can't even remember now. When thinking about all the people I have known I sure hope they are as happy as I am...and that I haven't offended them. If I have offended any of you sorry.

(I know, scary what goes through my mind some days, but I really think its amazing all the people we meet through out are lives)



Here are a few conversations that happened with my children that made me smile this week.



The other night I was talking on my cell phone and my husband was putting the kids in bed. My Savannah has a tendency to keep getting out and coming up with every excuse to prolong her bedtime. While talking on the phone I receive another call. I look at the number and its my house phone. I answer it and its Savannah whispering. She says" Mom I am in bed but dad won't let me get out will you please get me a drink and a snack and oh don't tell dad I called you... ohh and that I have the phone. I look in her room and she is hiding under her covers while talking. I am still laughing.



The other day I was trying to convince Asia to let me comb her hair and let me do something with it. It's really long. As I was trying to tell her to sit down, she looks at me and says mom I don't need my hair combed, I am already boootiful. She then flips her hair and giggles. I think I am in trouble.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

P.S. My hair is getting longer, yeah! I will try to post a picture next week.

LABOR DAY WEEKEND

My family went to Northern Nevada to visit my husbands family.

Every year they have a parade over Labor Day. My Father-in-law who is the most creative genius I know, made this train for his grand kids to ride in. He took a old 4-wheeler of ours and took the plastic off and then made the train engine. I can't remember what the theme was but he made the train look like a mining train. They covered the candy in gold tin foil to look like gold and the kids got to throw them out to people. They had a blast!

I even think they won 1st prize for their entry in the parade. From the pictures you can tell that they got mining hard hats and the light on the front. Janice put makeup on the kids to look dirty and I have to say they looked so cute.
Thanks Grandpa & Grandma Cannon!

School Is Back In Session

Don't you just hate it when you think of things you need to do but you are somewhere where you can't? That's how I have been this week about posting my blog. My computer has been broke and I thought of all these things I was going to write and now my mind is blank.



I do remember that yesterday I went to see Dr. H.. My favorite Dr. All looks well! Tests came back OK so no worries. After struggling last week it felt good to visit with my Dr. and listen to him remind me that I am not going crazy and I'm not a hypochondriac. He said "your not out of shape and exhausted because you haven't been exercising its because you just received chemo, (poison) in your body it has nothing to do with exercise". He then added"to top it off you also have no estrogen in your body and never will" Reminder to all of you out there that are in the same boat as me we are not hypocondriacs. Anyway I walked away from my visit feeling recharged. Thanks Dr. H..



School started this past Monday. My kids were so excited and looked so cute! They love their teachers and seem motivated to work hard. But I am a realistic parent and know that in a few days they won't be as excited. I wish the excitement would last all year especially with the homework. Their Grandma and Grandpa Andrus had a back to school party for all the grand kids. They went swimming in their pool and had a barbecue. Then Grandma gave each of them back to school presents that they can use. They were so excited and had everything set out Sunday night. They were prepared!



I now get to stay at home with my Asia. She had preschool this morning and then we came home had lunch, read countless books until she fell asleep and here I am. I do have to admit I don't think I will post a long entry because I am going to go join her and not feel one bit guilty for as you know life is so good. I have been able to get up each morning BEFORE my children, feed them a good breakfast and have their lunches made and ready to go. We are able to have family prayer and I can give them a kiss FROM the front door instead of from my bed. So different then last year. I think I may appreciate this year much more then my children. I will forever need to thank my Aunt Darlene who came over each morning and filled in for me. Due to her I don't think my kids missed a beat. Love You!