Dr's Dr's Dr's and more Dr's

Well, well, well where do I begin. It has been a busy two days spending all my time with doctors. I have been trying to decide what to write or how detailed I should be. I have decided I won't go into too much detail on whats going on. Its all confusing and for many of you probably boring. I am still having surgery next Tuesday but I am now having a MRI done to see if I have any precancerous cells and that will determine exactly what the surgery will entail. My choices have been difficult, its choosing between the two lesser evils. My MRI is on Thursday then I go back up Friday to meet with the Dr's. to decide. So I will update exactly whats going on then.

Today I had physical therapy and then I went to a group that was called "Look good and feel better". It is for women with cancer that will be going through chemo and losing their hair and have other side effects. They have make-up artists come in and you get a free bag of make-up from different companies. There make-up is the good stuff that won't irritate your skin and actually help it. They teach you how to put make-up on your eyebrows and eyelashes to look like you have some. When I first walked in and saw all the ladies in the class it was another reality check for me, to see some of the ladies with no hair and others with scarfs or hats and then watching them take them off. To be honest I was saying to myself I can't believe I am going through this and this is my life for the next year. As the evening wore on, visiting with this ladies and getting to know them and just basically talking about what they are going through, or how they deal with things. I was humbled and felt very blessed to be associated with them. I have met so many wonderful people that otherwise I would have never known. I feel very grateful.

Yesterday I told my doctors that since we have been spending so much time together and knowing that I will be seeing them for the next 2 years ALOT they have become friends and I expect a good Christmas present from them. You should have seen their faces, I just gave them the look like I wasn't kidding . They probably think I am nuts. As I am writing this it still brings a smile to my face, I can still picture the look on their faces. You know your spending alot of time in the hospital when you recognize the cleaning people and they know you. I said to one of the men today while he was cleaning the windows I might as well get your name and introduce myself since I will probably see you again. He was cool with it and we both laughed. But I have to admit I hate running into the same people and you don't know their names. I actually want to know more like so how long have been at this job? Do you like it?How long have you lived here etc. etc.
Enough babbling, have a great day!

No Regrets,

I Got A Wig!

Well yesterday I went back to a different wig store and it was much better. I was a little shaken when the lady put the bald cap on me before trying on the wigs. It definitely wasn't pretty. Once I started trying all the different kinds on, it was kind of fun. I bought one. I then went over to the cancer society, and they had a few, so I got one there. along with some cute hats and scarfs. So everyone, if you run into me you may not recognize me. I may have really short hair and the next day long and blond, red or pink.
I then went to meet with the plastic surgeon. It was a very surreal experience looking at real pictures of people after surgery knowing that will be me too. The more I think about it the more I realize I will be just fine and dandy!

Life just keeps getting better!

This past weekend just flew by. My sister has been in town along with my sister-in-law . We went shopping and went out to lunch . It was fun just looking in all the stores and really just visiting with one another.
I decided since I wasn't alone I would go look for a wig. The professionals say you should do this while you have hair. I haven't looked forward to it, but didn't think it would be that difficult. Well, let's just say it was harder then I thought. I ended up looking around, but the lady working was so pushy. She kept saying to me, "Just try a few on," while following me around.
So, I walked out. Yep, I just walked out holding back the tears. I thought to myself: it's amazing how me, along with everyone else, is always wanting to look different. We want to change our shape, be taller or shorter, take away our wrinkles, have thicker or thinner, longer or shorter hair. OK, I have to admit I have always wanted to have dark olive skin and long dark hair with long legs.
But now my hair that I have always had will be gone and not by my choice. Yes, I know you are all saying it will grow back, and you are right, but the doctors say it could be a different COLOR, texture, curly or straight. And now all of a sudden I like how I look! (I guess its about time). So I guess what I am saying to all of you out there is to just love who you are and what you look like now.
After I got home I was mad at myself for not just dealing with it while I was there. So, I am going back up on Wednesday to get one. I WILL NOT leave the store without buying one or ordering one along with a few scarfs and hats. This weekend was just a small dose of reality that I think I needed and obviously will be living real soon.
Today I recieved really good news. My BRCA test came back. The results say that my cancer is not passed down genetically so I can't pass this to my girls. Yahoooooo!
I hope this post doesn't sound depressing. I didn't want it to. I just want to be honest with everyone on how I feel with what's going on. I am good and I do love my hair and will love whatever I get when it grows back. I hate to sound dramatic because there is always the chance that it will grow back just the way it is now, but if not, I will still love life!
I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and will try to update!

No Regrets, Shaquel

Good News!!!!!!!!

Hello Everyone
I recieved good news today. The cancer has not spread past my lymph nodes or my left breast.
I had a PET scan done yesterday to see if there was any cancer anywhere else in my body. I was relieved to have my Dr. call and give me the news. I am still waiting for one more test the BRCA.
I also have my surgery date it will be Nov. 3rd. I do not like the wait ,but I have to agree with my Dr. on this one.
I still can't lift my arm , but I am feeling so much better!!!!!!!!!!!
It was so nice to see family at Shaes wedding. Shae you looked beautiful!
Thank you all for the words of encouragement and the hugs.
I definitely have enjoyed all the visits from family and friends. Thank you! Keep them coming!

Hang in there Shaquel. There is HOPE!

Plans Change!

Hello Everyone
I decided I would write and let you all know I am alive and doing well ! My Surgery date has changed and as of yet I don't have the exact date. It should be the end of this month but I feel bad that it will be close to halloween and I may be in the hospital so I am going to ask the surgeons if I can have it the first of Nov. What kind of mother would I be if i didn't watch my kids at the pumpkin run or take my usual burnt cookies to their class party, and then take them to the halloween carnival and trick or treating? don't say a smart one HA HA ,But who knows? There are a few reasons for the change of date for surgery, the 1st- My Dr. wants me to have healed and be alittle stronger . When they took my lymph nodes out it raised the risk for lymphedema which would be a permanent change (This is where my arm swells , the skin hardens, it loses it elasticity and can be vary painful,and I would not be able to raise my arm past my shoulder.) So to help that not happen I need to do certain exercises to get it strong ,if I had surgery this week that would make it so I can't use that arm for another couple of weeks. 2ND reason- I have to have a plastic surgeon in with the other surgeon so when the one surgeon does the mastectomy the other can start reconstruction so they have to work their schedules out 3rd- and I think biggest reason is we are waiting for a test result called the BRACA (genetic test) . If it comes back positive it raises the percentage that I will likely have cancer in the other breast sometime in the future so then I will do a bi-lateral mastectomy rather then just having one removed. After I heal from that surgery around thanksgiving then I will start chemo and my Dr. keeps trying to prepare me that my chemo will be very strong which means I will have severe side effects. So when I lose my hair everyone just be prepared it won't be pretty. I was hoping all this wouldn't happen so close to the holidays but I guess I can't control everything .Maybe I will get my Christmas shopping done before the week of Christmas this year!Oh I almost forgot I did get my drain (grenade) out yesterday I thought I would get it out last week but the nurse said it was not ready so it feels so much better not having that on me or carrying it around.
I just want to thank everyone for their prayers, phone calls, cards, flowers, gifts , meals, daycare and just being genuinely concerned for me and my family. We really do feel the love!
And I really am doing good Psychologically, emotionally,SPIRITUALLY and even alittle physically