Believe!

Today is the beginning of a new week. As I came home this morning from walking and kneeled down on my knees I was reminded how grateful I am to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints ( Mormon). I am so glad that I believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the Atonement and how it helps me in my life each day.



Last night was a longggg night I only slept maybe a hour. My body hurt from head to toe. It always seems to be my bones. I lay in bed tossing and turning(you all have had those nights) wanting to sleep. Every time I turned to lay another way my bones in my shoulder, neck,ribs, feet, legs and head hurt. As soon as it was light I forced myself out of bed to go walking. It feels good to be walking and look up and see the clear blue sky and feel the sun shining on me, but today as I tried to enjoy my surroundings I had to try to keep my emotions in check because my body hurt so bad. Eventually discouragement started settling in. Other walkers were passing me and I felt so alone and of course out of shape. I think the reason why I felt lonely was that I knew they (others) couldn't understand why I couldn't keep up with them or why it hurt so bad to walk.

I also have been very apprehensive (I'm not sure if that's the right word) this week. It is my year mark to when I knew something was wrong and I had to go in for two different biopsy's. I knew in my heart I had cancer and I was not letting other people know except my family and a close friend. I remember acting like all was alright as I was preparing my kids for school and sending my son off on a mission. Inside I was a wreck. I am surprised at how I am feeling now, I want Aug/Sept to be over. No surprises.

I went to Walmart today and ran into a lady that had Breast cancer too. I think Heavenly Father new I needed to see her. We were basically diagnosed at the same time. While she was talking I felt relief, although she was crying and I was trying not to. I felt the stress melt away. She feels the same way I do with so many things. I felt normal again.

I then took Savannah to the dentist Dr. P. and he told me that their 2yr was just diagnosed with Leukemia and his wife is due in 2 weeks with their 3rd child. He said it has been hard because his son is still too young to really communicate and tell them how he feels and where it hurts. Tears came to my eyes and I thought back to this morning and all I could think about was the Atonement and how important it is.

As I go to bed tonight I realize that I am truly never alone. I hope all of you feel the same way.

No Regrets,