My New Life

I hope this may bring comfort to those of you out there that have lost loved ones. My New Life

Memorial Day! Enjoy!

Whew! This week is over. It started out great on Monday. Tuesday I went for my infusion. The morning I was leaving to go Kylie was all upset, she kept saying "I thought you didn't have to go back for medicine that makes you sick?" I reassured her it was not the same and I was not coming home sick. Wednesday morning I woke up soooooooo sick, my bones hurt. Boy I felt like the biggest liar,but of course Kylie didn't say anything. I couldn't believe that this medicine would make me feel so crappy. As the day went on I felt worse, I couldn't keep anything down. Maybe the flu? I'm still not sure because all symptoms are gone except my BONES HURT and its been 3 days. Ok I'm finally getting to the reason why I am telling you all this. The first night I was so sick I was laying in my bed and I heard Kylie say her prayers. She was asking Heavenly Father to bless her mom and help her so she won't die. Hearing her say those words with such a sweet and tender voice shot right to my heart. A few minutes later I hear Savannah say her prayers and she says"Heavenly father will you please help my moms hair, its not growing back the right color. Will you help her hair grow back red and not any red it needs to be like my red hair".
I spoke to my girls in the morning about there worries. Kylie just said that seeing me so sick that day reminded her of watching me through chemo and I was so sick that she thought I might die. She also reminded me of kids telling her of people that they new that died from cancer. Savannah said that she wanted my hair back the same color because it was something that we shared and if my hair wasn't red she would now be the only one.
This has been a good reminder that this year has truly effected my family. They are doing well but like me and everyone else they too have their own worries and fears. I am grateful to hear my children pray with such faith to their Heavenly Father and realize that they are never alone.

Today was the day I thought I would start radiation but it was a dry-run as my Dr called it. Everything looked good and I will start on Tuesday. I am so excited! Really I want it to ALL be over.

I hope you all enjoy your Memorial Day! I am grateful for all the Men and Women that made this Country a place I can live with the freedoms I have and feel safe at the same time. I am grateful for my ancestor's who have passed on and endured hardships and made sacrifices for me along with my family and enjoy the legacy that they passed down.
As I was sitting in the hospital today I couldn't help but think how lucky I am. I am able to go to a hospital that is clean, has the best equipment that can help me live a longer life and has been created by someone who must be a genius. Dr's that are skilled in their profession and that I get to choose what Dr's I get to go too. Then as I was driving home from the Dr. I was thinking about how excited my children were today. They were marching down the street to go to field day with their teachers(who they love). I appreciate their teachers who also love my kids and want the very best for them.
And for the last thing I am grateful that this Memorial Day I can go to the cemetery's and see other family and friends from the community that feel the same way as I do.

Feelin Oh So Srong!

Today has been a productive day. I pulled weeds in my garden and around my house. I cleaned, picked up toys and spent most of the day outside. I felt so strong. I was hot and sweating and it was actually from working not menopause. It felt so good!


Now that I mentioned I feel so strong.....ironically my Dr. called this past week and gave me the results of my bone density test. Not good, due to chemotherapy I have osteoporosis. My Dr. gave me more vitamins to take and this week I go back to have a infusion for my bones. I am not sure how many times I will need to do this, but each time it takes about 2-3 hours. The biggest concern my Dr. has is the medication I have to take. For the next 5 years I take two pills each day and the biggest side effect from them is that they weaken the bones and basically can cause osteoporosis. With that said I need to get them back to being strong. The infusions will help. I can't believe I just had my port taken out and now I will being getting poked again. The nurses always have a hard time finding a vein (Except for you Michelle who is so good at your job!).

I have two Dr. appointments this week and I start radiation. Looks like it will be a busy week.
I hope you also have a funfilled week!

Jimmy Pulled It Off!

This past weekend Jim and I went to Salt Lake. We had a nice time we were able to spend some time with Jim's family.It was fun and relaxing; I can't beat that combo.
While we were gone Jimmy got all the kids ready for church and was so proud, that he had them take a picture. If you look real close you can see red duck tape on Rudy's shoe. He said his church shoes hurt him, his school shoes came apart at the seams over the weekend so Jimmy didn't panic he used the mighty RED duck tape to fix. Then Asia refused to take off Savannah's shoes that were to big for her and didn't match, along with cutting her own bangs that morning. Oh and her hair was still in braids from Friday morning. Jimmy called us as we were driving and told me I would die if I saw everyone dressed for Church. I have to say I just laughed and I was proud of him for getting everyone ready and taking them to Church.
I added a few pictures that represent what some of my days are like.
Savannah knowing the rules when painting nails only in the kitchen or on the bathroom floor opted not to follow those rules. Her nail polish was also red and yes it did spill. After much scrubbing I did get the polish out of the carpet.
I have Asia at home with me while the rest are at school. She has become Miss Independent. I have found her into everything. It becomes quiet and I run for the camera because I know she is doing something she shouldn't. I think its fun to have the memories of her mischief. I like these pics because you see her on her toes so determined to get what she wants.
Since I am back to feeling pretty good I clean and chase my kids around.
I also have been trying to get back in shape by walking, but my legs and feet still really hurt. I can't wait until they stop hurting. I go back to the Dr. next week maybe he will have a solution to make them feel better. If not I think a massage or pedicure would help. Don't you agree?

No Regrets,

What was good about your Day?

Do you ever wonder why you are so hard on yourself? Do you ever wonder why you look at the negative things in your life?
Well today I had to go have a bone density test. I thought while I am here in the big city of St. George I would try and find a cute shirt to match my scarves. Well I came out with nothing but a baseball cap that hopefully I can wear soon. I was somewhat discouraged, my mind went from not finding a shirt that I liked and fit to me talking to myself saying-
Man I look so old
I have alot of wrinkles
I am so out of shape
Why did I wear this scarf today?
My body hurts
I am so forgetful
I am so tired of feeling tired
My teenagers are driving me crazy

I then got in my car to drive home and started talking to myself again. Saying- Shaquel why don't you appreciate everything you have now?Why complain? When I found out I had cancer and was going through chemo my perspective changed. I looked at things differently and didn't stress about many of the little things.Now that I am feeling better, how easily I forget to appreciate and not be so negative. I really don't like to feel that way so I told myself to snap out of it before I get home. I started thinking about the good in my life.
So here are my 5 things that brought me out of my slump and smiling-
1.Driving through the gorge and seeing the beautiful mountains
2.The Temple-Saturday I am going and its much needed
3.Thinking of Asia, yesterday she gave me a hug and said you are the best mom in the whole world.
4.Listening to upbeat music on the the way home
5.Telling myself that although I may not like how I look or feel right now. It will change and I am alive to prove it.

I hope you all found the good in your day!

No Regrets,

Happy Mothers Day!

Happy Mothers Day to you all! Even if you don't have children you perform mothering duties to so many children. You deserve to have a nice day.

I had a wonderful weekend. On Saturday I went with my mom and sister-in-laws to feel, oh so very pampered and got massages. Afterwards we went to lunch and then did some shopping. It felt good being out and feeling somewhat normal.

On Sunday Kylie surprised me by speaking in church on Mothers. She did such a good job. She is so shy and I am so proud of her for doing it.

I received wonderful gifts from my children and husband. They really went all out this year. I love seeing the excitement my children have when giving gifts.

I met with my radiologist on Friday. He set the coordinates for my radiation. He gave me tattoos to make sure I will always receive the radiation in the right places. It was different experience. I didn't realize that along with my Dr. there is a physicist involved in the radiation process. I am learning so many new things. How lucky I am! (Kind of).

No Regrets,

No More Surgeries

I'm back, its been one week from today I had surgery. Everything went well. I have no more ovaries and my chest looks better. The Dr. ended up scraping the lining of my stomach and then moving my liver around and a whatever else is in there. The reason was to check for growths or cysts. The only real pain I have is from the Dr. doing that(I think). My mind is feeling better then my body but I'm sure my body will catch up.

Thank you to my sister Tiesha who flew into help me. She stayed with me for the first day and then took my kids up to my moms and watched them. She also cleaned my house. She has always been the giving sister full of charity. Love you! Although I have to add- she came in and saw me laying in bed feeling so sick and with nothing on my head she said"You really look like a cancer patient"I responded with"I guess that's good since I am one".

Today I went to Asia's preschool for a Mothers Day party. It was very nice. The teacher asked each child what they liked doing with their mothers. Asia said"I love to snuggle with my mom". That comment meant alot to me just because we have done that alot this year. With me being so sick I would read to her until I really didn't feel good and then we would watch Dora on TV all the while just snuggling. I have been very blessed this past year because as much as I like to snuggle with my children; I am usually up moving, cleaning and running somewhere. I can always look back and think of the memories of my children laying by my side sharing their stories, jokes, worries and kisses while we all laid in my bed when I couldn't get out.

My hair is growing slower then I would like. So far there is no hint of red. It looks blondish brown. I am still holding out that it will turn red.Oh how I hope.

No Regrets,